Nice shot

Yes this is my blog. These pictures are of my kids. And they are holding guns. Real ones. Not toys. I know it is weird.  I HATE guns. They scare me to death.  Somehow though, some of my siblings and my dad have recently acquired an interest in shooting.  There was no talking Carter out of going shooting with them.  Surprisingly Elli even wanted to try it out.  My mom and I didn't choose to go along. Surprise. I was happy when they arrived back safe and sound. This isn't going to be happening regularly, but I guess I had better get over my fear of guns!

 

Pumpkin Carving

While in St. George we were able to carve pumpkins. The kids thoroughly enjoyed it. Carter picked a green pumpkin and was more interested in using the tools to carve his than what it would actually look like when done.  Elli, being as perfectionist as she is had a few meldowns during the process as she wanted hers to be fancy and precise.  Good thing she has patient aunts and grandparents, cause I wasn't!  The best part is that I don't have to do them at home now! ; )

Little one

Can't wait to meet this new little one!

Carter is one happy boy!

But the best news is that the baby is healthy and the previous problems are healing nicely.  Such a blessing!  One more Ultrasound in a month and we should be good!  Yay!  

OUR Halloween time

Since the kids will be with their other families for Halloween this year, this is about all we got.  Luckily for the ward party the kids were able to dress up for a night so we could enjoy it at least. Although I didn't get to go, I got the best part still- seeing my kids dressed up and excited!  I love Halloween so I wouldn't want to miss it all.  I will take what I can get.  They sure look cute!

Gothic Bride, Pirate, Halloween Fairy

Digging to China

 

Carter and his friends, were playing in the backyard. I went out to check on them and Carter says, "Hi Mom, we're digging to China."  I said, "China? But I will miss you. That is far away."  He responds with, "Don't worry, I won't be gone long." Then runs and gives me a hug and kiss.  They had it down to a science, each with a different job.  Looks to me like Carter's job was the easiest!  But then again, he had double duty- holding the dust pan, and running in for Popsicles every 10 min. 

They worked on their tunnel to China for several hours a few days in a row. Then gave up.  

Side note: I wrote this post back in August, but never published it for some reason...No it is not that warm still.

You are my sunshine

When most people hear the word "sweet", they probably think of a cute little girl.  Not that little girls aren't sweet, but when I hear the word I think of my sweet little boy.  Okay, I know he is 5, but he is still little to me.  He loves to snuggle and play with my eyebrows, just like he did when he was smaller.  He isn't embarrassed to say, "Bye Mom I love you" in front of his whole Kindergarten class when they are lined up to go into the room in the morning.  He still believes that mommy's kiss will heal any scratch or scrape.  He still insists I sing to him every night when putting him to bed.  He still wants help warming up after getting out of the bath.  He still has to have a kiss and hug before leaving the house.  He still runs to find me when he gets home from school.  He is still proud to show me his school work and sing me the songs he learned at school.  And he still loves to do things for me.

Yesterday after school he insisted on packing me a lunch in his Transformers lunch box for me to eat in bed.  He did it himself.  It included: an applesauce, a small box of cereal, mandarin oranges, a fruit roll up, and a packaged chocolate chip cookie.  He brought it to me with a huge grin on his face and sat on the bed waiting for me to eat it.  I guess when he was packing it, he pulled out the chocolate chip cookie and just looked at if for a minute. Then he turned to Steve and said, "Dad, can you have sugar when your pregnant?"  I thought that was so cute. 

A few days ago he wanted to make a picture using stickers.  We got him out some paper and box of stickers.  I walked away and came back a little later and he said, "Don't look Mom."  Then, "Mom, you are going to pass out when you see how much I love you."  He brought the paper to me in bed and it had stickers covering every inch.  He was so proud. I pretended to pass out.  He said, "I told you that I loved you that much!"

Another cute thing about Carter right now is that he is totally obsessed with my pregnancy.  He is always asking to read about it and see pictures. He wants to know how big the baby is now and what it can do.  He can't wait to feel it kick.  I get a weekly email about how the pregnancy changes and he loves reading it with me.  My only concern is that he REALLY wants a little brother.  He is convinced it is a little brother.  So if its a girl, it might be a bit of an issue.  I told him we dont get to pick and he said, "Heavenly Father will pick a boy for me."  When I told him that it might be a girl that needs to come to our family and if it is you will still love it, he said, "At first I will throw a fit. And then I will be okay with it."  I told him he would have to protect his little sister or brother. He liked that idea. I think I will stick with that one for now...

I just adore this little guy of mine.  I know some things will change as he continues to grow up, but I believe the sweetness will stick.  I call him my sunshine for a reason- he lights up my day and warms my heart. 

Carter and cousin Makai

Being tricky

Two weeks of trial and blessings

I have been on bed rest for almost two weeks now.  Anyone who is or ever has been on bed rest before, you know have my complete respect.  It SUCKS!  Of course I will do whatever it takes to protect myself and baby, but it has been rough.

Monday-I was at the dentist office in Draper with the kids.  I was feeling pretty good.  We were just about done when I felt something leaking.  I didn't really think much of it until I stood up and felt more than a leak, it was a gush.  I ran to the bathroom and sure enough, LOTS of blood.  I grabbed the kids and went to the closest ER, which luckily, was only about 3 minutes up the road.  I was in full on hysterics.  I called Steve, who just happened to be off work that day, and I was bawling and screaming so much he had no idea what I was even saying.  I finally got it out and he met me as quickly as he could at the ER.  When I got there, no one else was in the waiting room.  No one was even at the front desk.  I was yelling for anyone to help me.  The receptionist came out and was so very nice.  I was frantic about the bleeding, the baby, and not sure what to do about my kids until Steve could get there.  She calmed me down and assured me she would watch them.  Two nurses immediately came and took me away.  My poor kids.  They were so scared and trying so hard to be tough.  They hadn't ever seen me in that kind of hysterics before. Heck, I don't think I had seen myself in that kind of hysterics before!

Turns out, the nice receptionist put them on a movie and gave them Rootbeer and snacks, coloring pages, and puzzles.  (Obviously I wasn't the first hysterical mom to bring kids to the ER alone!)  I was very grateful to her to say the least.  It only took Steve 20 minutes to get there but it seemed hours.
They put me in a gown, started an IV, took my blood pressure which was really low, hooked me up to monitors, and then just left me there to wait for the doctor.  I was bleeding a lot still and being alone scared me to death.  I couldn't stop bawling. I thought I had lost the baby for sure.  I couldn't even look at the blood.

The doctor came in shortly after Steve arrived and they took me to do an ultrasound.  Amazingly, the baby was there.  Kicking, heart beating, and measuring perfectly.  I still couldn't make myself look at the screen.  I guess I felt like I would get more attached to the baby and at that point, was still convinced there was no way it was staying in there with how much blood I had lost.  I was shaky and weak, but felt no pain, which was surprising to the doctors.  We had to wait a lot longer for another doctor to look at the ultrasound, and then get an internal exam.  There was so much blood they couldn't even tell where it was coming from or what was causing it.  Didn't leave me with any piece of mind.
We waited until the bleeding slowed down before we went home.  Still with no explanation except that I needed to stay in bed, and see my regular doctor as soon as possible. 

The bleeding lightened even more but the cramps started that night.  They told me that would happen.  Being so weak and upset, I slept most of the next day, as my doctor wasn't in until Wednesday.

Wednesday- Early in my pregnancy I had a subchorionic hematoma.  It caused cramping but I never bled like they usually do.  The found it during an ultrasound and the doctor said they usually just go away on there own.  That was at about 5 weeks.  He checked it again at 8 weeks and said it was gone and had likely just dissolved.   I thought that was the end of it.
While at my doctors, he did an ultrasound and could finally tell where the bleeding was coming from. He said it was likely caused from that earlier hematoma and it had caused some damage to the wall of the uterus.  He couldn't tell at this point the extent of the damage.  It was near where the placenta attached, but on the outside.  He said sometimes that damage can cause somewhat of a tear in the uterine lining and the placenta has a harder time attaching.  But that this can heal itself pretty easily this early in pregnancy. He put me on bedrest and said to come back to have it checked in two weeks. 
Bed rest when I am in school full time, is not what you want to hear.  Especially when I am in my last year and desperately want to finish.  I know it will only get harder to do so later.  So I did what any emotionally unstable pregnant woman would do- cried all day and called my mom. 

Thursday- Pulled myself together a bit, contacted all my professors, worked out a time with mom, Neisha, and Steve so that someone was almost always here with me to help with the kids.  Friends kicked in with dinners and I got to stay in bed.  Sounds nice right?  Ya, for about an hour its nice. Then I was ready to be done with the whole ordeal.  Luckily with all the support I have, it has made the past, almost two weeks, bearable.  My instructors have been amazingly supportive and I have been able to do much of my work from home.  Student teaching starts in November, so I am just praying I am able to complete that well.  My friends at school have helped by sending notes, recording class, and including me in groups over the phone.  They have brought freezer meals and ward and friends have as well.  Mom came up for several days, Neisha took over after that. Dave and Kate filled in the in between time when I had no one.  Steve was able to take some time off.  I feel very blessed and grateful for all the people that have pitched in to help us.  The kids have been very well behaved.  We haven't had hardly any issues with them.

So, after that long story, I am down to just 2 more days in bed and am feeling quite a bit better. No bleeding or cramping now.  I have a bad head cold and my body hurts, but that is nothing I can't handle.  It is times like this that it really becomes evident how blessed I am.  Not that I ever doubt it, but sometimes these big reminders really help to humble and realign priorities.  I am so thankful for all the people who have made these last two weeks bearable.  I am thankful that my body is healing and that this sweet little spirit is thriving.  I am thankful to have such a strong testimony to carry me through times of trial, fear, and doubt.  I am thankful to have the ability to hope, to see past today, and to believe in an all knowing God that knows far more than I do about myself.  I am thankful that my future is in His hands, because I am very aware that without Him, I am nothing.